The Cleanest Greenwashing Soap
£9.99
Meet the revolutionary Greenwashing Soap™: a premium cleansing bar designed for those who want to look sustainable and feel superior. Free from accountability and tested on vegans, this soap is formulated with the finest blend of buzzwords, fragranced with an air of moral superiority.
Crafted to perfection, and marketed for your conscience, the Cleanest Greenwashing Soap is the ideal face and body cleanser for a moment of mindful and sustainable luxury.
It doesn’t just wash your hands—it washes your image.
✅ No added ethics
✅ Endorsed by shareholders
✅ Locally sourced ideas
✅ Tested on vegans
✅ Profit first innovation badge
✅ Sustainably marketed
✅ Ethical ambiguity award
✅ Carbon positive
✅ Free from accountability
✅ Zero guilt label
Quantity
Instructions for use
- Wet hands, ensuring visibility to onlookers.
- Lather generously, bask in the scent of sustainability.
- Apply generously to public image, absorbing the finest marketing practices.
- Rinse thoroughly, let the promises wash away.
- Repeat as often as needed to maintain appearances.
Display in a place where it can quietly stand as a testament to your sustainability commitments.
Avoid contact with accountability. If this occurs, discontinue use immediately.
For external use only—integrity™ not included.
Manifesto
Sustainability has been hijacked by marketing. Not as a solution, but as a story—it gives you permission to buy more.
Click here to read our full manifesto.
Product Information
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140g olive and coconut oil based bar of soap with a scent of verbena, produced using the triple-milled process. This traditional method removes air and excess water, creating a denser bar that lasts longer and produces a rich lather.
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The soap has been formulated and produced by artisanal soap maker Savonnerie des Collines in France.
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The packaging is made in London by DRUK, using litho printing on 300g recycled paper.
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All soaps are packed by two eager Parasites, wrapped in reused shipping material, and sent from our local post office in London for the UK or Paris for Europe.
Ingredients
Sodium Olivate, Sodium Cocoate, Aqua, Glycerin, Parfum, Sodium Chloride, CI77288, Tetrasodium Glutamate Diacetate
Shipping
UK: Royal Mail 3-5 working days, Tracked 24H
France: Mondial Relay 3-5 working days, Tracked 24H
Rest of Europe: Mondial Relay 3-5 working days